I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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