'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Green mimosas i think yes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
