I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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