I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
