I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Randomize
