We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Farmville is her only friend.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
