1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
