Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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