Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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