All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
