brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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