for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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