that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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