Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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