I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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