Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
