Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
