he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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