can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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