i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
