Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
