i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
