also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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