Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
