therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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