can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
