Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
