doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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