I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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