you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I need a beard to bite.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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