I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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