fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
