i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
