why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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