oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
