he puts the penis in happiness.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
