You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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