we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
