Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
