I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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