loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
