watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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