Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
