shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
