So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
