we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
