i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
