I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
