Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
