I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
