there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
